I can get on board with Royal Wedding commemorative plates, I can even see people with commemorative tea-towels - collectors hoard all manner of crap just because it signifies an "important" event. What else might a dyed-in-the-wool event-rememberer need? How about a mobile phone?
Yep, for the low, low price of £14.95 (plus £10 top-up) you can get your hands on the latest "must-have" handset, which features an ever-classy Union Jack front, and a cute little "C+W" on the back (it confused us too, since her name is Catherine Middleton, wouldn't the shortened version be "Cath"? "Kate" is the short form of "Katherine", surely? Oh, I don't know, I'm just far too excited about the wedding to think about trivial things like that...).
What else does it come with? How do you fancy a polyphonic version of "God Save The Queen" as your pre-installed ringtone? Nothing says "patriotism" like ruining our National Anthem by playing it out of the speakers on your shite handset.
Oh, and there's also a screen saver which is a picture of the happy couple. Aww. Isn't that cute?
If anyone does actually buy one of these (from the Carphone Warehouse) please do let us know, as it'll be the biggest laugh we've had all month...
Edit: In the excitement of bringing this game-changing news to you, I forgot the real, actual URL you can use to buy one of these. Here it is.Tweet